The Bible is rich with telling us how to live so that we will be able to be with God forever.
The Bible has little to say about what we will find in Heaven other than a sinless place of great joy. That may be how the concept of people floating around on clouds with harps originated.
Once we are in Heaven we, that is our souls in new bodies, will live forever, no death. I see nothing in the Bible about fish, birds or animals not being killed. Wild animals will live in harmony there. Fish will be part of our food, I don't know about domestic animals that we slaughter for food on earth. We will still want to eat in Heaven and not just live on fruits and vegetables, as luscious as they will be.
We know there is no such a thing as purgatory that some religions teach about, but only Heaven and hell. Heaven is a multi-faceted place. Again the Bible throws little light on how Heaven is constituted. One of the purposes of Jesus wanting the book HISR written was to give information that was not in the Bible. This is His end-time book where much is explained so that there will be no reason for anyone not to know the path to Heaven. He has told Choo that because of the vast distribution of the book, more than a million souls will be saved, who would have gone to hell. In addition the book tells of the wonderful people and things that we will find in Heaven.
The Valley of the Shadow of Death where a vast number of people in gray-colored robes were wandering aimlessly is a holding place. Those there are waiting for judgment. These are people who Jesus described as "sinful Christians". They knew about Christ and how they should live, but chose to ignore this and live for pleasures in the world. Jesus said that most of these people will end up in hell. I can see that these people may deserve hell as they knew the right way to live. This seems to me to be in sharp contrast to people who never knew Christ, such as Choo's mother. The Bible says that everyone should know who God is because of all the wonders they see, no matter where they live. Yes, but if they have never had a Bible and no one ever told them about Jesus, how could they earn a place in Heaven? Actually I have asked the Lord, in all seriousness to consider creating a place where people who he believes have a chance of becoming sinless may live. They would have to work and live somewhat like on earth, but they would know they are there to earn a place with God. I don't know how this would work, but it seems unfair just to consign people to hell because they did not know Jesus. I thought they should be given a chance.
God does not want anyone to be in hell, but He decided that by sending His beloved son to be crucified, that people must believe in Christ if they are to live in heaven. That is God's rule, not ours. Jesus said in the Bible that the path to Heaven is narrow and the door is small. This means that only those who commit their lives to Jesus and live as best we can as God wants us to live will make it. Perhaps only three percent of all the world will be in Heaven. To me though, this is fair to those who have had the opportunity to know about Jesus, and it is really an easy route. All we have to do is repent, ask for forgiveness, and accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
This is not onerous, and everyone can do this. Once I read Choo's book, it became a necessity for me to take these steps and I have loved my life with the Lord ever since. No, this did not make an easy life for me any more than it would have been without Jesus. We will have trials and hardships and will be tested. But we can persevere knowing where we will spend eternity. I used to covet the things of this earth and want more possessions. I don't anymore and haven't from the time in 2004 when I found the Lord. Although I still thank God for my life on this beautiful earth, I care little about the earth any more other than a place to wait for Jesus. I do care about the people, and continue to work to try to bring more to the Lord.
I don't claim to be pure and won't be on this earth. I do try to" walk in Jesus' footsteps" and do what I know He expects of me. But I know I fall far short of this. Am I dismayed? No, I know that I am doing the best I can most of the time. How disobedient do we have to be to be left out of the Kingdom? I don't know but I expect that if we really tried to be disobedient, that would be enough to keep us out. Just being disobedient but wanting to do better should not keep us out. I know one thing for sure though -- if we deny that Jesus is our Lord and Savior, or if we deny God as the maker of Heaven and earth, we will go straight to hell without passing 'Go' if you remember the game 'Monopoly'.
If the apostle Paul couldn't live a perfect life, how can we expect to do this? We cannot, but we must try. Debby please do not give up on yourself or your relatives and friends. If you live as best you can for the Lord, you might even 'drag' some of these folks along with you. Certainly you need to be an example to them. But I know some people that have crossed my path in life that I don't see how they will possibly make it to Heaven. I have tried to help those who wanted to be helped, but these efforts were rejected by others. Jesus wants us to be happy and enjoy our lives, but He does not guarantee peace on earth, just peace when we are in Heaven, and peace from knowing where we will spend eternity. We don't have to keep working as Jehovah's Witnesses for salvation. Jesus secured this for us as a gift. We just have to take the steps mentioned above and in HISR and then do our best to live as we know we should. Jesus does not expect us to be perfect, but He does expect us to work at it. He also expects us to bring His message to others.
I strongly suggest that you forget the misconceptions that you had about Heaven, and concern about death of fish. Read HISR again from beginning to end. You can skip over the parts about all the training Jesus had to do on Choo. Just get the 'meat' of what is in this wonderful book. Every word is truly biblical and if you study it along with the Bible, I believe you will see this for yourself. I know Choo personally as we talk usually weekly. She has told me things about her experiences with our Lord beyond what is in the book. Choo is a great apostle of the Lord and a wonderful person. I cannot believe further study of HISR will make it dark for you, but will turn on the light as it did for me. I continue to read HISR from time to time. Today while I was waiting for my wife in a dentist office, I enjoyed a pleasant two hours with the book.
There is no need to be in despair. Jesus will help you if you ask Him and at the same time believe that He will help. You must believe. I see that you are sincerely seeking to know the truth so that your life will be fulfilled. Just keep on this path and you will be helped. You didn't mention that you attend church. I enjoy the Bible studies there very much and have found some wonderful friends by attendance at the church. They have helped me in my walk with God.