HOW JESUS HAS HELPED ME 

[written in 2006]  Before coming to true faith in Jesus, I was concerned about how fast the days were going by. I knew that every passing day brought me closer to the end of life. Although I am not afraid of death, life has been sweet and I hated to see the end approaching. Most of the time now I feel peace and contentment and just try to take each day as it comes, not worrying about the rapid passing of time. I know that life in Heaven will be far sweeter that life on earth. I now know that I will make it. This is not because I deserve it, I do not, but believing that Jesus died for our sins and loving Him as our Lord and Savior assures eternal life with Him.

Forgiving people that may have wronged me has not been a problem as I have never harbored a grudge. However, occasionally I have had a thought or a dream in which a person from the past was involved in something that bothered me. But now I have gone back over as many issues as I can think of where someone did something not pleasing. Whenever such is remembered, I stop and tell God that I forgive that person and wish them well. Thus as far as I know at this moment, everything even in the remotest part of my memory that was causing me to fret, even unconsciously, has been brought out into the open and is no longer even in my dreams. [After this was written, while reading the Bible I uncovered other things that bothered me such as the actions of public figures. I considered each one and forgave the person.]

The Bible tells that no matter how you have sinned, your sins will be forgiven if you repent and ask for forgiveness and believe that Jesus is our Redeemer. Jesus even forgave murderers and forgave adultery when the person confessed their sin and repented. I thought that I had never sinned, certainly nothing serious. However I went back in my memory and listed all the sins that I can recall. Of course everyone has sinned so often that it is impossible to recall them all. I continue to ask God for forgiveness. I try to catch myself when doing something that I realize will not be pleasing to God, and alter this behavior. Now I realize that the act of loving anything or anybody more than loving Jesus is a terrible sin.

About 25 years ago, after hearing a lecture by Dr. Wayne Dyer, I adopted his philosophy that if you are angry at someone, that person controls you. Since then except for brief moments that I cannot seem to eliminate, anger toward someone has not been a part of my life. Now I try to go further. Anyone that possibly deserves my anger, I simply try to love them instead. “Love your neighbor as yourself” is a biblical commandment that we all need to observe.

A kinder and gentler George has been my goal, especially since coming to know Jesus as the Messiah. I don’t think I was ever abusive or had a bad temper, but I do remember being somewhat overbearing towards Anita at times. Although I have always truly loved her, I am not sure how our marriage endured all these years because of my behavior. She accused me of always being “right”, and that was often true. I didn’t consciously take this stand, but it was part of my nature to never let my guard down. I learned this in business as I always had to act as the leader that I was paid to be. I am also trying to apply the same gentler manner with the other members of our family.

I am trying very hard to not fret over the things that used to bother me, especially things over which I have no control. An example is getting driving help from the passenger side. When someone cannot be in the car without trying to be helpful with turns and directions, it has bothered me. I thought I knew how to drive, and the best route. Now I just pass it off and don’t let it upset me, at least not as much. I try to laugh at it rather than get angry.

Another thing that bothered me while driving was impatience with red lights. I seldom feel impatient, as I can always use the time for conversation, listening to the radio, or just thoughts. It disturbed me that someone starts fussing if the light seems to be longer than usual, or if the cars in the line ahead don’t make a galloping start the moment the light changes. I feel that we are exactly where God wants us to be and there is no need or use in trying to rush things. Now I am trying not to fret about this. These are only two examples that are symptomatic of my past behavior.

Most of the time I am at peace with myself, knowing that I am doing, or at least trying to do what Jesus wants me to do. A lifetime habit of keeping pressure on myself, to cram more into every waking hour is hard to break. Momentarily and often during every day, I think that things aren’t getting done as fast as I want. Whenever this happens, I am trying to get it out of my mind, usually by asking for help from the Holy Spirit. I know that if I am working on the most important things, it doesn’t really matter if my planned schedule for the day isn’t completed. Sometimes getting side-tracked leads to something that I hadn’t thought of that proves to be useful. I believe that Jesus, through The Holy Spirit is behind these happenings. I often get some kind of sign pointing me to His way, and in helping me with many tasks.

The main thing I do have concern about is the best use of my time. I still have hobbies and interests and really want to spend some time on them. When I am working on some of these, I think that Satan often tries to muddle things up so that it takes longer to do something than I think it should. This takes time from the things I believe Jesus wants me to do. This does bother me, and I keep casting the devil out of my life in Jesus’ name. I hope to come to a better accommodation and balance between what I know I must do and what I would like to do for enjoyment of hobbies and earthly interests. I tell myself each day that it is most important to do the work of God, while not neglecting family and chores. It is becoming easier as time passes to put Christ as priority one, as I am losing or have lost interest in many hobbies I used to enjoy. This does not bother me as I am living my life as I really want to.

I am really trying to be more helpful with chores and yard maintenance. Anita works very hard all the time and chides me that I don’t have more interest in the garden. I may not be able to enjoy gardening as she does, but I can show more interest and do more. I have always done the grunt work, but she is so meticulous about her garden that whenever I have tried to do something on my own, she micro-manages me. This has turned me off so I have avoided gardening as much as possible. Now I think I understand her concerns. She has put tremendous effort into the plants and flowers, and doesn’t want any of them bruised by a heavy foot. So I am trying to think more from her viewpoint and enjoy the garden. I do love looking at the garden and the yard; nature is beautiful beyond description.

Also we differ about housekeeping. She is meticulous, and I feel that she overdoes it and works too hard. She must think I am blind as I don’t notice dust and dirt in my areas of the house to the extent that she does. Unless it gets messy, it is good enough for me. I do keep everything orderly in my areas, but I don’t worry if my desk and the floor are not spotless. I am trying to accommodate her more on this, and also trying not to fret when I see her doing more work than I think is necessary. I know that I can’t change her. She is a great person, and I am so fortunate to be with her.

These new ways of living were not easy for me, and they will never be achieved to the complete satisfaction of either of us. I am trying though, and thinking about what I can do to make life easier and happier for both of us. I am sure that I will slip at times, perhaps often, but my goal is to improve in all the things mentioned above.

I have greatly reduced the time spent on some things that used to be of keen interest. They just aren’t important to me anymore. Examples are watching our stock investments. I used to spend many hours each week analyzing for good buys and in checking performance. I turned all of this over to brokers whom I trust completely and who are doing a fine job. Now I only watch investments enough to see the general trends. The only records that will be kept will be those needed for tax purposes, and even for these I will depend more on the brokers.

Although I was never a great golfer, for years it held keen interest for me. During the last three years, less than six rounds have been played. It doesn’t interest me like it did. I know I would have to devote many hours of practice to keep a reasonably low handicap. This and actual play takes up too much time, time that I want to devote to Anita, our family, friends, and other things. I may play golf occasionally with friends; that is all I want. Anita’s only interested in golf is watching the tournaments on TV. She can’t play anymore due to her surgeries. I still play some tennis as it is great exercise, but only once a week. I want us to spend more time in the outdoors, but in enjoying nature, not in sports. When Anita is able, we will go bike riding as much as possible. I also will continue with walks, and swimming daily as weather permits. I hope she will be able to join me in these.

My reading is far different now. Because of little interest in following investments, magazines that I used to read such as Forbes are no longer read. My first choice is reading everything that I believe will help in my understanding and education about faith. I still keep up with the happenings of the world by reading magazines, scanning the morning newspaper and checking the Internet from time to time. I enjoy reading about nature, especially animals and their antics. History is of interest as it always has been. Yes I will also read something just for the fun of it. I am going to make an effort to read more humorous material as I believe laughter is good for our health. Fortunately Anita has always been a happy person and laughs easily so I hope to catch more of this from her.

Money and physical things are of far less interest now. I know we must husband our resources and manage our finances well. This will be done, but I have no interest in acquiring a larger and newer home, really expensive automobiles, finer clothes, or any of the things that used to seem important. Yes I still like gadgets, but now most of the interest is in items that can help in our life, our home, and the work that I want to do. While at times in the past I might have had a smidgen of envy for something a friend had that was obviously more rich and expensive than my possession, I no longer feel this at all. I am just glad for them. Actually no one really owns anything, in the sense that it will always be theirs. When we leave this earthly life, we will take nothing with us, and we had nothing when we came into it. Everything belongs to God, we are only permitted to use it while we are here. Since God really owns everything, we need to share our good fortune as much as we can with others who are less fortunate.

I no longer care in the least about getting credit for something that I do. Whether it is helping others, giving of time and money to the church and worthy causes, or just picking up someone’s garbage can from the street, I don’t really want anyone to know about it. The only one that I hope will take notice of some of the things is God. Naturally it is pleasing when someone mentions that they appreciate something done or said that helps them, but I do not seek this.

Of course my number one interest besides my family is in trying to bring the message of Christ to everyone who will listen. I realize that I am relatively new in faith, and that many of the people met at church and outside have been of faith for many years. While many may be infinitely more qualified to spread the Word, this doesn’t bother me. I am trying to do it my way with Jesus’ help, in every way I can. One of my concerns is that I am not concentrating as much on it as I think I should, but I feel that something useful is being done each week. I hope to improve my effectiveness with time, using all the God-given talents and experience that I have. I am driven, in that I want anyone that I can influence to be saved. I feel that if I can bring just one person to faith each month, this will be a great reward, and I don’t want anyone but God to know about it.

I have discovered many friends who are strong believers in Christ, whom I did not even suspect before I mentioned my faith to them in one way or another. I learned about most of them, outside of those in our church, by offering to give them the book “Heaven Is So Real”. Those who were of faith told me of their beliefs, usually in a low-key way. This has been a wonderful experience in that I feel a strong kinship for these souls. It is a great privilege to be able to discuss beliefs with someone that knows much more about it than I do. I know that it will only get better with time. While I love being with these people, I am looking for ways to help those who do not believe, and especially those who are unfortunate in any manner.

The bottom line is that coming to faith really has changed me, and I believe for the better. I feel happier and more at ease with everything. I am trying each day to be a little more like Jesus and hope that at least some progress is being made.