My life has been mostly a joy, and at times I have wondered why. I knew I didn’t deserve it but it was accepted with thanks to God. Even in the corporate world where I was responsible for the fortunes of over 2000 people, their families and our shareholders, I found joy and excitement in my job. We made our company a “fun place to work”, while seriously pursuing business. Of course it was not fun when on rare occasions I had to tell someone that the company would be better without them. Even then though, except for one man who took it badly, all parted as friends. I saw some of them later and we could talk on a friendly basis.
After retiring from the public company, I had time to reflect and plan my future. Also I gave some thought to my whole life. I began to wonder why I did not feel a strong emotion when a tragedy happened to a person I knew. I remembered Ray, a grade school chum who suddenly died and I couldn’t bring myself to be sad about it. I knew I would miss him, but there were other friends. At that time in life, I had no perception of life after death.
The only person I felt the pain of his passing was my half-brother Melvin. I loved him and we were close. He was a generation older, but a great relationship was still enjoyed. We were two thousand miles apart when he died during the night. Somehow I knew the moment, as half-awake I heard him say “Goodbye Lee”. That was the name used until going into the Navy when it became “George”. I waited the next day for a phone call from his family, but it didn’t come. I concluded that it was my imagination and decided to give him a call in a few days. But two days later there was a call with an apology for not calling sooner. I asked about the time of his death and it was just when I heard his goodbye.
I did mourn for him, and it took a while for it to sink in that I would never see him again. Aside from this though, the tragedies in no other life really touched me. I loved my Mom and Dad but when each died, I knew it was inevitable at their ages. My parents and I always had a loving relationship and I still think of them fondly, but I didn’t mourn for them. After my mother died, I knew that she was watching over me from Heaven, just as she prayed for me while she was alive. When our first son who appeared to have everything for success, suddenly left our lives, I wasn’t too fazed. I thought he would come back. But as the months and then years passed, I concluded that he was living the life he had chosen.
While these losses were unhappy events, my life was still a joy. My real regret now is that I didn’t then know about the saving Grace of Christ, nor until 2004. I would have prayed for salvation for my Dad, my brother, our son, other relatives and dear friends who had passed away. I also might have paid more attention to nurturing faith in our kid’s lives. We cannot go back and relive life, but this is the only reason I would want to.
I guess I was too hard core to be concerned about anyone other than those in my life. When I heard about some bad happening in another area or another country, I may not even have said to myself “that is too bad”. If I even thought about them at all, it was that perhaps they deserved this, that they were lesser people, or that dying was just part of living. Now I hate this thought of my callousness, and lack of belief that everyone is equal in God’s eyes.
But after I found Christ, I began to think about others, and to feel some of what they were going though. Anita and I started to support ministries that were offering help in tragic situations. I even volunteered to travel and help poor people learn to plant potatoes, but perhaps fortunately the trip never materialized. Anyway, although I did not immediately realize it, the way I viewed the lives of others had changed. I now began to think how I would feel --”if I were walking in their sandals”. People and their lives began to mean more to me. But I cannot say that I am affected by every misfortune in the world as there are just too many to comprehend.
You might think that this changed my perspective of joy, and it did somewhat. Although I might feel sadness for another, my life was and still is a joy. But now my wife Anita is going through difficult times. She has many health problems, and it does affect my life as well as hers. She worries that she is hindering me from the fun we used to have in travel and adventure. But I told her and I really mean this, we had so many great trips and experiences that I don’t need any more. Also we have our wonderful memories. Anytime we want to visit London, Paris, the Great Smoky Mountains, all we have to do is call up the memory or look at some photos. I truly care little for anything in this world except the people. I love Anita more today than ever, and she still is a joy even with her health problems. We have achieved our worldly goals and are content. We now look forward to life forever in a better place.
Why Do Some Find Joy in Living and Others Do Not?
The Bible tells us that life is not supposed to be trouble free and that there will be trials. But our Lord promises that He will be with us to give strength to bear them. Most if not all of the great people of the Bible went through more than you would think they could stand. The fact that they did not lose faith made them great. God wants us to be happy but He does not promise uninterrupted happiness. With all the evil in the world, there will be happenings that are not joyful, and some people will have more tragedy than others. Why, we don’t know, but we do know that Christ said we will all be tested.
Then there is the rest of the world, especially in some of the third world countries. The only joy in their lives is what they make for themselves. We are fortunate to live in our wonderful country, giving much reason for joy. But we should not be satisfied with the direction it seems to be headed. We should pray that America will return to the precepts under which it was founded – One Nation, Under God. Taking God out of the schools and public places is a real concern.
Joy and sadness and sorrow are often linked. Recently a dear friend we have known for over forty-five years died of cancer. His death came only a few days after he and his family knew he had the disease. Instead of mourning over this sad turn, and though they will miss him so much, they celebrated his life with a memorial party. He was a man of Christ so they know that he will live in Heaven.
Should we feel joy when a truly bad person is arrested, suffers, or dies? How about when a public figure we didn’t appreciate is disgraced? Being human it is hard not to feel at least a little satisfaction about this. We may think “Good, this gets rid of this person”. But when/if our Christian love kicks in, it isn’t joy we feel. It might be concern for the person or the family. We may even feel like praying that s/he will know the Lord. Only an evil person will have glee at the misfortune of another in most situations. But I could not help feeling satisfaction when reading that a Taliban leader was killed. These people are totally dedicated to killing those who don’t share their extreme beliefs. Notwithstanding, I have prayed that as many as possible in all the world will finally accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. This includes these bad people.
Can those of other faiths, or those of no faith experience joy in living? My answer is yes, as I went through periods in my life this way. In my forties, for reasons I thought valid, I suddenly no longer believed there was a god of Heaven. For a few years it seemed better for me to believe that everything had evolved in some way without God. Later, just as suddenly, I began anew to look at our wonderful world and the universe as too perfect to have been created by chance. Prayer and thanks to God for my great life started anew.
Did I have joy during the period void of God? I kept enjoying life all the while. My parents taught me to care for others, to be honest with others, and to respect the lives of all creatures (except mosquitoes). So I was indeed happy most of the time and content with my life. Even after I returned to worshiping God, I did not realize the big picture that was missing.
In 2004 I came to Jesus as my Lord and Savior after reading the book “Heaven Is So Real”. Then I thought about the risk taken all my life in not knowing Him, I shuddered and thanked God for not taking my life. So while there was joy in my life, it was through ignorance of the penalty that could have been.
It seems that many people are never happy as they envy what others have. I never envied anyone with great wealth or great power, or even great talent. Well maybe just a little for talent. What I think about now is this question: “Do they know Jesus?” To me that is the crucial question, but sadly, most to the world knows nothing about him. Their great wealth or power will not help them after they leave this earth. I applaud when learning that a celebrity has made a generous gift to alleviate human suffering. But I ask myself the question – does s/he know Christ? When hearing one of Elvis songs that I still love, I think of this. I hope he was saved, and he may have had more chance than Sinatra, another favorite who seemed to live on the edge of bad stuff. I have even prayed for them. I do not envy a celebrity or a powerful person, I just wonder if they will achieve real success which is a life with our precious Lord.
Another requirement to experience joy is contentment. This is an opposite of envy. The Apostle Paul had troubles and trials almost beyond comprehension, but he said he was always content with whatever was his lot. In his letter to the Philippians Paul wrote, asking God:
Give me faith to meet (disappointments) bravely. Trials I do not understand. To let God work His will in me – To trust His guiding hand. Help me to shine, a clear bright light. And not to live in vain – Help me hold forth the Word of life, in triumph over pain.
Contentment does not mean lack of ambition for betterment; it means that along the way we will be satisfied with our life as it rolls along. Anita and I often sought better things in life, but we were very happy with what we had at each stage, even as we started married life with little. Yes I did work hard for more and more wealth and spent much time on investing. When we finally achieved wealth, more was wanted. Finally, though, I felt that this is enough, and that my time and our money should be used for others.
At that point we could have acquired a fabulous home almost anywhere, but we were happy with the one we had built in 1978 for all of $65,000, where we still live. I took to heart Jesus’ saying that “it would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter Heaven”. So we are no longer rich in money but we are rich in the knowledge that we used our wealth for the benefit of the Kingdom. The last thing I want is to appear to boast about achievement or benevolence. This is only intended as a humble person’s statement about contentment. I now know that it was God that made this happen. Finally I realized that this is why God helped with our life, and he certainly did. Without His help in all ways, my life could have been nothing. Now I know that He planned that we would help with His Ministry on earth with both money and time. The more I learn of how God works in people’s lives, the more I am awed at His power and love.
So joy does not come with wealth, power, or achievement. It comes as a byproduct of contentment. I know that joy or sadness is also a state of mind. Some are never happy no matter what. Others just love their life for no visible reason. Finally joy comes with knowledge that this earth is just a training ground for eternal life with our Lord. One author said that when he looks up at the sky he thinks of Heaven. When he looks at the ground, he realizes what a small and insignificant space he will occupy after he dies. He then knows that our main job on earth is to get to Heaven. How could we ever have more genuine joy than to know where we will spend eternity? So our purpose is to praise the Lord as our Savior, and to help others know Him. With this we have real joy. Of course there may still be hardship, suffering or sadness over the loss of loved ones, but we will have peace in knowing our ultimate future.