Is it true that most of us find it hard to give others the sympathy they need and deserve until we have trouble in our own lives? Some lovely folks seem to be always looking out for the welfare of others. I was not on that boat and had to experience difficulty myself to become more sensitive when learning of others’ problems.
Perhaps we can never truly feel the pain another has no matter what. Only Jesus was able to do that. You may remember the song: “Into each life some rain must fall, but too much has fallen in mine”. I liked the lyric but never felt that it applied to me and still do not. My life has been great, with only a few trying times. In the last year though, Anita’s Dementia has raised its ugly head. I feel so sorry for her. She also has suffered with an extended abdomen since her seventh surgery in 2007. She has born both the physical and mental problems with far more courage than I believe I would. She is a real trooper. But the Dementia is the greatest problem as she has no control over its comings.
It affects me too. Often she does not recognize me as her husband. And worse, especially in the late afternoons or evenings she wants to go “to her home”. She has several times packed her purse and a few things in her arms and headed out the door. Or she wants me to take her to the place she has in mind, but cannot tell me how to get there. A couple of times I took her in the car and followed her instructions. Once we got about six miles south of our home before she gave up and told me to turn around. When we returned to our house, she sort of recognized it.
One time while I was in the bathroom she left on her own but it ended up comical. As soon as I noticed her missing, I walked up and down our street but did not see her. I went home and got into our car and set out to find her. I decided to first go to the home of our friends Bob and Diane Price as we have often visited them. They hadn’t seen her. So I scoured the neighborhood covering about five miles with no trace. After about 45 minutes I decided to go home and call the sheriff. After I got in the house I glanced out the window to our back yard and patio. There she was sitting comfortably on a patio chair. She told me she had merely gone out the front door, circled around the house. Becoming too leg weary even after this short walk, she just flopped in the chair.
Bob and Diane were alarmed at my visit to inquire about Anita. Right after I joined Anita in our back yard, not getting any response from our door bell or knocking, they came to the back yard. I explained to them that I was about to phone them but had just now found her. We laughed about it after I explained the “adventure”.
I am always fearful that these little adventures will not end so well. Carrying her “buddy” as I call her ever present purse, I fear that someone might grab it and worse, hurt her. I pray frequently for God’s help, and need to remember: “Your Father knows what you need before you ask him…..Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you”. {Matthew 6:8, 7:7} We should always ask for God’s healing presence and care in times of suffering. And if His response is not what we want, ask God to show us how the suffering can bring us closer to Him.
So if we have trouble giving others the sympathy they need, you can still help them by offering prayers in their behalf.